Two years ago yesterday

May 15th two years ago I found out some news that would change my world forever.  It's so crazy how you remember the best and worst moments so clearly.  I remember what I was eating, what everything looked like, how dark it was outside, the still small voice that whispered "prepare yourself" as I sat and listened to the news. I know you'd all like to hear about the deep dark secrets in my life, but chances are anybody who actually reads this thing already knows, and just in case you don't, I need to protect the people that are involved.

I wish I could say two years later that everything is all better and that time healed the wound.  But even now I feel a great deal of pain from this scar on my life.  I look at all of the wonderful blessings that have grown out of that mess and I feel very greatful. But, I'm not sure it's something I can ever fully recover from.  That event changed the security I used to feel.  Because in just one moment, just one little moment every single aspect of my life, and relationships with people, changed forever.

It's so unsettling.  Lots of times I feel like I'm just waiting for this ball to drop again, to find out some other awful news that will ruin me completely, and I know that's no way to live but I can't help it.  For now, I can be greatful for how things turned out.  I have a beautiful little boy, a home of my own, and a sweet supportive husband.  I am truly blessed.

First mother's Day

Today was my very first mother's day.  I can not believe what an amazing little boy I have.  I am completely obsessed with him.  I am very lucky that he is so mellow and well behaved.  He is basically the most perfect baby.

I'm so greatful for my sweet husband and for how hard he works for me to be able to stay home with my sweet baby.  He gave me the entire day off yesterday and cleaned while I got to get pampered!  Best day ever!!

Haggered

If you could see how I look on the inside, it might look a little something like this.
Haggard.

I just realised I have not had one hour by myself in over two weeks.  It might not seem like that big of deal to some people but I used to spend most of my time by myself so it's a pretty big deal.  Even in High school, when other girls would get together to go shopping or out to eat, I would go by myself.  I know, loner-e sounding right?  For some reason I just really need that time with myself, by myself.

I used to have about one hour at the end of each day but since Ty has been getting home earlier My "moment" has been shared.  Which hasn't bothered me until just now when I'm wondering why I feel so dang cranky.  I blame half on Mr. inflamed Thyroid, and half on lack of date time with myself.

I think for mothers day all I want is a day off.  No phones, no people, just me.  Does that make me a bad mom/wife?

The two loves of my life

I am so incredibly in love with these boys.  They are my EVERYTHING!  They are my day and night. Everything I do is for them.  They are my greatest joy. And I love them oh so much!  It doesn't hurt that they're so freakin cute! ;)

Is this for Real?

Ok could somebody please tell me, is this for real? This kid is a mega super star because of his lip syncing videos and I'm confused as to weather it's because he is joking, or if he is for real and everybody else is kind of making fun of him. Me and Ty spent about an hour the other night looking up all the publicity this kid has gotten cause of his videos and it's crazy! 50 cent, Chealea Lately, Jennifer Aniston, etc.

Please could somebody tell me what awesome internet thing can I do to make some mulah?

Making Friends Pays

So I do this thing where I try to make a friend at every place that I go to the most often. For example the bank, certain food and shopping places, etc. It's really very awesome for a couple of reasons,

#1 It makes going to those places a little more fun when I see my "friend" and they know my name and order by heart (it totally makes me feel like a cool kid)

#2 They always hook me up. Like my friend Bob at the bank. I never have to give him my name or ID, and if I ever have any overdraft fees he just erases them. ooh ya that's right Boo freakin yah. Saved me a good 25 dollars for sure (we aren't too great with the remembering of the transfer fees)

Or like my good friend Tyrone at Rubios... he hooks me up with free drinks all the time and it rocks. Etc. you get my drift.

I've gotten free food, drinks, money, extra stamps on those little stamp-ie cards that they give at some food places, and discounts on hair cuts, clothes and other household items all because of my friendly encounters with these peeeps.

Now I know what your thinking, psh that skank probably flirts it up and bats her eyes and giggles like a fool to get all that free stuff. Ut uh. No flirter here. I am committed to mine one and only and therefore do not flirt. I simply make friendly small talk with the person that is there the most, every time I go in, and I always (now here's the key) remember their names. I learned a long time ago whilst working in the salon that remembering a clients name is key to getting extra good tips and a solid clientle. And then if you can remember something about them, examp. interests, hobbies, etc. that makes them feel extra special hence the wanting to give you free stuff.

Call me cheap or whatevs but who doesn't like free stuff AND friends? I seriously want ya'all to try this and let me know if it works for you too. Ready...Set..Go!


**Names have been changed for added security of the continuation of the freebies**

MY Moment

MY moment is at the end of the day. After I've put baby down to sleep, and just before Tyler gets home, I have an hour or so that is all mine. I love it. I look forward to it. It is the only time of the day now that I have to myself. It probably sounds really loner-ie but I used to go on dates with myself all the time. I think it worried my mother when I was in highschool and she would call to see what I was doing, and I'd say I was at the mall or at a restaurant.. by myself...hangin out with...myself.But I didn't care, I really love time to myself where I don't have to talk to anybody, where I can just do whatever I want even if it's just nothing. Ahh the gold ole days... Now my dates are confined to the walls of my home, but I still love it.

My life IS a Miracle

I'm sure if we all knew each other's deep dark life stories, we'd be surprised, even baffled, at the strength that we each possess. My stories, like yours, might be shocking, they might make you gasp, cringe or even cry, and after hearing my stories you would look at me differently, think of me differently, maybe even speak of me differently. The fact that I am where I am now, living in this house, working the jobs I've always wanted, with a beautiful baby boy and the kind of husband I always prayed for, IS a miracle. God does bless those with the strength they need to endure their trials.... if we ask him.

I've been thinking about starting this blog for quite sometime now. I was so nervous, it's weird putting your thoughts, feeling, ideas and adventures out there where others might see them, but life is moving so quickly these days, I feel like if I can just write bits of it down it might help to slow it a bit. Here's to hopin.